We live in a world short of trust.Whats worse,we live in a world where new industries are constantly growing around the deficit of trust,forcing us to trust even less and fear even more. The entire security business is not really about offering us protection against known dangers. Its more about creating a miasma of fear that makes us scared of anything unknown that may happen to us. Medical treatments going the same way. Earlier, we feared diseases that struck us. Today, we dread diseases that may or could strike us. So we live in a world of constant health checks, pathology tests, regular doctor visits, scary articles in newspapers that make hypochondriacs out of absolutely normal people.
Last week I read about an auto driver who was picked up as a suspect for raping a child. He is still a suspect and the evidence against him is next to nothing. But even though he can get bail, no one,not even his friends or family, is ready to stand guarantee for him. He has no money to pay the bail. His wife has run away and promptly married someone else, saying she couldnt live with a man suspected of such a heinous crime. His family has abandoned him out of fear of being ostracised by the neighbourhood. He cant even return to his home as he fears he may be lynched. And the evidence against the man hasnt even gone to court! But his life has been destroyed by the news of his arrest. He has been punished not because he's been proved guilty of a crime but because we, as a society, suffer from a trust deficit. We are always ready to believe the worst of anyone.
I live on the 24th floor of a well secured multi storied building no one can enter without an ID card. Yet how often have I left my front door open Never. How often have I left my car unlocked and run out for an errand Never. How often do I stop on the street and help someone in need Not as often as I ought to. How often do I stop and feed a hungry stray dog Not as often as I could. Why I am programmed to fear it may bite me. How often do I help an accident victim Rarely. Why I worry about being drawn into a police case. How often do I give money to an urchin Not as often as Id like to. Why I fear I may be encouraging begging. Behind every small act of ours is a deficit of trust.
Its this deficit of trust that makes us enjoy stories in the media about romances breaking up, friendships collapsing, marriages wrecking. We always turn around and say: I told you so! We are always warning friends, associates, colleagues,spouses, children to be wary. Never take candy from a stranger, is every mothers first tip to her child. Never hire a great looking secretary, is every wifes first threat to her husband. Think twice before you marry a great looking or successful guy, is every friends advice to another, he can always ditch you for someone else. In fact, the moment you ask someone for advice, on anything related to a relationship or a health issue or a property deal, be sure to be warned. Our first reaction to everything is: Watch out! We even sign off, saying Take Care.
The media thrives on this mistrust. I see my daughters watching a show on Hollywood celebrities which only talks about how everyone is cheating on everyone else in their marriage and their romances. We forget that society and media share a symbiotic relationship. The more we show up trustless relation-ships, less trustworthy our relationships become. Its not only marriages that are breaking up. So are romances. So are families, homes, communities, states. Yadavs in UP dont trust Dalits. Dalits in Bihar dont trust Brahmins. Sunnis in Pakistan dont trust Shias. Shias in Iran dont trust Sunnis. The locals in Mumbai dont trust anyone. Elders in Haryana dont even trust their daughters. They brutally murder them to uphold family honour !
So who do we trust No one. Everyones becoming increasingly lonely simply because we cant trust any one any more. Its true the world is not as simple as it once was but the moment we abandon trust, for whatever reason, we shut ourselves in and become lonelier. We love less. We fear more. We imagine wrongdoing even where theres none, simply because we all live in a constant state of paranoia. Any thing, anywhere can be misread, misunderstood. The problem gets even worse when we mistrust every one and start seeing wrong everywhere. Thats what makes us all unhappy, scared, suspicious.
The deficit of trust besieges us with fear. And this fears killing us because life is not only about being afraid. Its also about faith.Its about respect, love, trust. If you chuck it all away, you have nothing worth living for.(Views expressed by columnists in Hyderabad Times are their own, and not that of the paper)
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(source-toi)
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